Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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