you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
