i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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