No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
