we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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