There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
