Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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