census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
