Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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