I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize