Duck Duck Cougar?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
