so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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