Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
MIDGETS
????
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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