It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just pee around me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
