My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
