O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
