Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize