the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
