No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
