Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
