Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
did i just pee glitter
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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