well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
