There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
