This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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