Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
