i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
