Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
