you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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