It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
