She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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