Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
