You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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