I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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