Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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