there's paper in my vomit.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i love accidental penises.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize