so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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