hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I love having hate sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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