Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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