oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
