There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
