the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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