Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
