I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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