you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
