I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
