Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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