yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
