once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
