So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we're making bets on your personal life
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
