I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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