He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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