Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
