I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
