Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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