Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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