From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
