i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
