So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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