I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
